Whew.

Well, it has been a while since I last posted anything. I spent the summer - what there was of it - focusing on my handwritten journals and taking steps to try to accomplish some goals I set last year at this time.

Overall, I have done pretty well in meeting those goals. Except for taking snowboarding lessons. I didn't do that. And, I don't know that I will. I'm not really driven to snowboard.

I also just needed - over the past several months - to live some...without commenting on it.

So. I did some stuff, outside of work - which is stressful of course, but ultimately pretty amazing and gratifying (and I never get to talk about it all, except in protected situations, which really does kinda stink, but is necessary) and I had some really great experiences.

Let's see. I started the whole dating process and met a nice person who I like a lot (a wonderful surprise and not a goal for the year, btw). I ran two 5Ks. I began ordering this crazy organic box of veggies every week, which has inspired me more than I can say...who would've thought a bunch of carrots and avocados and walla walla onions could have such an impact on a life?

I also started another process to become an Episcopalian. Which, granted, has been a lot slower than I thought it would be for me...and it really has to do with my own interior spiritual life trying to catch up with my heart and head, but it has been a great trip.

Weirdly enough, my soul has needed a bit of time to grow closer to a very logical decision I made to take this path. September and October have become the beginning of "learning time" for me in this regard and it will be interesting to see where I am when confirmation rolls around sometime before the end of the year.

And, I did a lot of other good things toward: getting my finances in order, including becoming a donor to help support women in need instead of just being a fundraiser...starting the process of finding this balance I am seeking...and allowing myself to enjoy my own personal style (a take on classic with rock n roll, in case you are wondering.) AND THANK GOD - I reconnected with my dear, dear friends. What a blessing.

I know. I know. This is sounding a lot like one of those Christmas year-end letters we all got in the 80s from friends of the family we never really knew. I'm sorry for that - but I guess I just needed to take a moment here and acknowledge that I set some goals for myself last year at this time and I made some progress. It feels really, really good to be able to say that.

So, here I am now. Again. Thinking about what the next twelve months will bring and what I would like to accomplish. OR - let go of trying to accomplish. (i.e. snowboarding.)

I think I would like this year to be about building on what I started in September 2009 with a splash of love and compassion.

I do know that I am really happy and comfortable for the first time in years with who I am. Now, I haven't labeled it all - haven't figured it all out - but I am satisfied with who I am. I like my life living under this space needle in the middle of a climate that offers me less than enough vitamin D. I like it, because it is mine - of my choosing - of my adventure.

In case you are still reading...here are a few items I am thinking on...

TOPICS UNDER CONSIDERATION FOR THIS YEAR'S GOALS: Running a 5K in 30 minutes, travel, time in Alabama, cultivating a peaceful life, financial stability and greater independence, creative outlet - am I gonna sing again? Can I really write 1,000 words a day?, spiritual growth - what does it mean for me to be a Christian?, longer walks with my dogs, do I boot camp work out in January and February two times a week? YIKES!, horseback riding lessons, and what do I do about my inability to really clean out my closets?

These are all things I think about and, ultimately, try to plan for...about...question. I just work that way. I am a planner at heart. With that in mind, I also want to share something else. I lost several friends this year. I watched on the sidelines as miracles happened, as I sent prayers and I hope some sort of comfort during struggles. I also saw great surprises happen toward all kinds of healing - I am especially thankful for P.T.'s birth in March (I'm an aunt). I don't think that my goals are especially important. They just remind me and hold me accountable as I age. For me, as I get a little older, I want to accomplish things that matter. I want to live up to a bit of my potential - the "biggish picture" and the day to day. Maybe, one day, I will get to really see things from a higher place.

That's all.